Starlit Skies
by ncis-lady
Summary: And suddenly there is something else, a warm sensation, a source of peace amidst the terror within. He must hold on to that, for if he loses it, he's lost. Kili and Tauriel and what might have happened after the credits. Now a multi-chapter story covering the time from Kili being healed to Smaug attacking Lake-Town. T for some dwarf-swearing.
1. For what it's worth

_So this is my very first Hobbit fanfic. I wrote it within one day, because I needed to get it out of my head. I watched The Desolation of Smaug for the first time on Saturday and then again today in the original version. Kili has been one of my favourite characters after the book and the first movie, and I was so happy that he got an own storyline in the second movie. So here is my idea about what happened after the credits and Ed Sheeran's wonderful song._

_Might be continued..._

* * *

**1. For what it's worth**

_'You cannot be her. She is far away. She... she is far, far away from me. She walks in starlight in another world. It was just a dream. Do you think she could have loved me?'_

The last thing Kili felt before he drifted back to sleep were warm fingers softly caressing his hand. He didn't want to sleep, he was sure there was something that needed to be done, yet what it was he couldn't remember. His mind was blank as darkness surrounded him once again and he fell into the black, vast nothingness.

_Pain. Red glowing metal rods piercing through his flesh, tearing at his insides, his screams die on his lips. Make it stop, please, make it stop. Thorin. He needs him, he swore he'd help him, and he wants to, oh he wants to, but the agony is taking his breath away and Thorin turns around and leaves and doesn't hear his cries. Make it stop, please, please… And suddenly there is something else, a warm sensation, a source of peace amidst the terror within. He must hold on to that, for if he loses it, he's lost. 'Open your eyes, wake up,' he hears a voice. A female voice, worried, but also strong and reassuring. _

It took all his willpower to open his eyes again, and the light burned in his eyes. Kili blinked several times before he became aware of the beautiful elf woman patting his forehead with a cloth. He tried desperately to recollect what had happened. She must have noticed his confusion, because she stopped her movements and smiled at him instead. God, that smile.

'You had a nightmare, I guess. How is your leg?'

Tauriel. That was her name. Tauriel. The memories came back with such intensity that he had to close his eyes once more. When he opened them again, she was still there. Not a dream.

'It's good,' he said. It wasn't entirely false, he thought. The white hot pain radiating through his body, that was still vivid in his mind, had reduced to a dull throbbing. If only he didn't feel so damn tired.

The door suddenly burst open, and almost instinctively Kili reached for his bow.

'The orcs are gone, Lady Tauriel, I think we're safe for… Kili!'

His brother, of course. A smile spread across Kili's face as he heard the familiar voice. The young dwarf rushed towards the bed and gave Kili a scrutinizing look.

'You're awake, thank God! But you look awful!' Fili's eyes searched for Tauriel's, worry etched upon his face as he gripped his brother's arm. Óin and Bofur were standing closely behind him, looking equally concerned. 'Is he alright?'

'I'm…'

'He will be. I managed to stop the poison from spreading, but some damage has certainly been done. His body is weak and he needs to rest.'

'I don't…'

'I can't thank you enough, Tauriel. For a moment I thought I'd lose him.' Fili's voice suddenly sounded raspy, and he didn't speak further. Kili seized the opportunity.

'I need to find Thorin. _We_ need to find Thorin.' As he looked around, Fili, Óin and Bofur nodded cautiously. Tauriel's look was stern. 'If we leave now, we might still be able to help them. The more who fight that beast of a dragon, the better!" Fili nodded more fervently, and Kili took a deep breath. 'Better get started!'

He sat upright and jumped out of the bed. At least, that's what he'd planned to do. The moment he sat up, a wave of dizziness washed over him, he shut his eyes to stop the world from spinning around him, and he could feel himself falling…

A firm hand on his back, holding him upright.

'You're not going anywhere.' There was an unusual tremor in her voice that made him open his eyes again. Fili had fetched a cup of water which he now passed over to Tauriel. She helped Kili drink, and he was grateful for that. He wasn't too sure if his trembling hands would be able to hold the heavy cup for long. Maybe she was right, maybe he wasn't supposed to go. Not yet. But he had sworn to protect his uncle, hadn't he?

'You… you don't understand,' he said, still leaning heavily against her chest. He was aware of the softness of her flesh beneath his face, and he moved away from her quickly. 'I made a promise to help my uncle. Thorin counts on me, and I will not let him down.'

'And you're so stubborn that you rather let down anyone else who cares about you?' Tauriel replied angrily. 'You're no use to Thorin with that state you're in. If you go now, you'll die. So you promised Thorin? Well, you promised someone else, too, didn't you? Didn't you promise you'd come home safe? Didn't you tell me what you swore?' She put something in his hand, and he recognized the small, black pebble, he could feel the engraved runes, he remembered the day he'd taken it from his mother. 'Tell me Kili, how is what you mean to Thorin any worthier than what you mean to her? To any of us? You've got a mother to come home to. Others would give anything for that, and you are willing to give it away in a heartbeat?' Her voice subsided, it was merely above a whisper now. Kili could suddenly see the bargeman's daughters standing a few feet away from where he laid. The younger one still had a look of utter terror in her eyes. Children without a mother. 'I didn't fight for your life just to see you lose it at the hands of a dragon or an orc. I didn't leave my family just so that you can die for yours! I will not see you die when I haven't even gotten to know you.'

For a moment silence surrounded them. There was something in her eyes that had Kili think she'd say more, but she didn't.

Óin coughed twice.

'Maybe Lady Tauriel is right. Even if you were in a condition to face a dragon – which you are not – the others must have found the door long ago. If they hadn't, they would have returned by now.'

'Not if they were slain by Smaug instead,' Kili said quietly. Fili shot him a warning look.

'Anyway,' Óin continued, 'those orcs were but a warning of the storm that's about to come. My nose is itchy. Something's coming.'

'Seeing how seldom you clean it, I wouldn't take your itchy nose for a reliable warning', Fili mumbled just loud enough for everyone to hear. Kili and Bofur burst out laughing, and the ghost of a smile tugged at the corners of Tauriel's lips.

'Hmpf. Believe what you like, but I say that the rumbling earlier wasn't an earthquake. Smaug is furious. And if he's furious, he will seek revenge. I don't want to leave this town knowing that it's the only thing standing between Smaug and the end of our world.'

As if to prove him right, another loud growl erupted in the distance. The younger girl started to cry, and her sister hugged her.

'It's going to be okay, Tilda. Don't you worry.' She turned towards the dwarves. 'Do you know where our father is? And our brother, have you seen him?"

Ashamed Kili turned his eyes away from the girls. He had actually not spared a single thought for their host and his son. Why hadn't they returned? Looking at his friends, he realized that the other dwarves didn't know anything, either. Then again, he thought, they had been quite preoccupied. Kingsfoil, orcs, just to name a few.

The older one – Sigrid, he remembered – took a shuddering breath, apparently choking down upcoming tears, and straightened her shoulders.

'Well, I will not wait here and do nothing. I will find them. Tilda, you stay here and under no circumstances will you leave, do you understand?'

'But… but I'm scared', Tilda sobbed, clutching her sister's dress tightly.

'You don't need to be,' said Fili in a surprisingly soft voice. 'We will all be here to protect you. You're a strong child. Not every girl your age can say she pinned down a dwarf. A full grown dwarf, mind you.'

A little smile appeared on Tilda's face as Fili stressed the last words, and Kili and Tauriel chuckled simultaneously. Their eyes met, and they hushed.

'I will go with Sigrid,' said Tauriel. 'Two women will not draw as much attention.'

She took a dagger from the table and hid it in her boot. Then she handed another one to Sigrid. The dwarves watched as the women headed for the door. To his surprise Kili watched Bofur take Tilda's small hand as the young girl watched her sister leave.

On the doorstep Tauriel turned around. She might have spoken to all of them, but she looked directly into Kili's eyes as she said, 'Be careful. Don't do anything reckless. Wait here, we will be back soon. I promise."

Kili stared at the closed door for what seemed an eternity. It was only when Fili laid his hand onto his shoulder that he became aware of the others again.

'She is quite tough, isn't she? For an elf, I mean,' said Fili, a hint of appreciation in his voice.

'Aye. She is.'

* * *

_If this is to end in fire_  
_Then we should all burn together_

(Ed Sheeran, I see Fire)


	2. He ain't heavy, he's my brother

Wow. I'm chuffed. Thank you all for your great reviews and for following this story!

How could I _not_ continue it now? Like I said in one or two reviews, in my opinion it's time for some brotherly moments. I love Kili and Fili, somehow they remind me a lot of Fred and George in Harry Potter ;) Anyway, shorter chapter this time, but Fili gets his storytime here.

I will stick to Kili's point of view in this story, because it's pretty much impossible for me to cover all storylines and also because I find him easiest to write.

The chapter title if the title of a song, and if it doesn't fit Kili and Fili, then Smaug shall come and get me ;)

I hope you like this one!

PS: I realized that punctuation in British English is different from that in German grammar, I tend to forget that, so I changed the quotation marks in the first chapter and I will do my best to use British quotation marks from now on ;) (Correct me if I'm using them wrong, please!)

* * *

**2. He ain't heavy, he's my brother**

Óin and Bofur immediately went over to a corner of the room to discuss possible anti-dragon tactics – just in case Óin's itchy nose was indeed a warning.

Kili thought that he'd really like to sleep. He was more tired than he had been throughout the whole journey, and that irritated him deeply. Usually he was the first one up in the morning (apart from Balin, maybe) and together with Fili often the last to go to sleep.

'Are you really okay?' asked Fili, the worry still written all over his face. He laid a hand onto Kili's shoulder and checked him from head to toe.

'I'm alright, don't worry. Leg's much better, should be fine to walk in a couple of hours.'

God, he was tired.

'Would you like to drink something? Or eat? Wait –,' he fetched a slice of bread from the kitchen table, 'have a bite, you haven't eaten properly for days.'

Kili looked at the brownish bread, he could smell it, and all of a sudden his stomach rebelled. Bile rose in his throat and he covered his mouth with one hand as he leaned over to the side of the bed. Dry heaves made him break out in sweat, and he screwed his eyes shut. He could feel Fili's hand on his back just like Tauriel's before, his brother's hand rubbing gently in small circles which reminded Kili of his mother when he'd been sick.

But he wasn't sick. He just wasn't hungry.

'You don't seem so okay to me, to be honest. Tell me, do you hurt? Let me have a look at that wound again –'

'Goddamnit Fili, could you just stop fussing?!'

He saw his brother's eyes widen, his face going white, then red. He heard Bofur hiss over in the corner, and he realized he's said something wrong. _Very_ wrong.

'Fussing?' echoed Fili flatly. '_Fussing_?!'

'Yes, you are fussing,' replied Kili angrily. God, he just wanted to sleep. 'Ever since I woke up, you haven't let go of me once! For God's sake, I'm not old, I'm not dying, I'm just tired!'

Fili's hands were clenched to fists, and both brothers stared at each other raging.

'You're my brother, Kili, and I always considered you brave, and loyal, and reliable. I never knew you could be such an arrogant prick!'

'Arrogant? Me?'

'Yes, you! For your information, you _were_ dying, and if you don't value your life, fine, well I do!'

'Listen…'

'No, you listen. You may not remember anything of the last hours, that's good for you.'

Kili really didn't remember much. Now that he thought of it, the last things he remembered were arriving at Bard's door and seeing Tauriel's face illuminated by sunlight. The time in between, a blur of noises and faces and hands and pain. He couldn't recall anything in particular, and he didn't want to, either.

Fili was breathing heavily, shoulders shaking as he sat down on a stool near the bed. He rested his elbows on the bed and buried his face in his hands for a moment. When he looked back up, Kili could see his brother's eyes shimmering.

'I had to watch you die, Kili. You were in so much pain, screaming, flinching, we could barely hold you down, and it was all I could do because I couldn't heal you.' He took a shuddering breath. 'I was there, I was grabbing your arm, and all I could do was watch you die right under my hands. I've never felt so desperate in my life, and I could hear you pleading me to help you…' His voice broke.

_Fire. Fire in his veins, in his blood. Burning at his insides, tearing him apart, and his leg is killing him, it's the orc wound, if he could only get rid of it. Just cut it off, stop the pain, make it stop, just give me my sword, Fili, I'll do it myself, please just give me that damn sword…_

He felt sick.

'You're my brother, and I love you. I'd do anything for you and you know it. I would have carried you up that damn mountain; I would have disobeyed Thorin if he'd ordered me to follow him. I would always carry you, I would give my life for you and not even hesitate. But I will not watch you die. I won't. I can't. When I walked out the door today to make sure we were safe, part of me was certain that I wouldn't see you again. Elf magic or not. So excuse me if I need to assure myself from time to time that you're here for real.'

Fili exhaled deeply. He wasn't the one for long speeches. He was the one for action, and suddenly Kili understood his brother.

'Thank you,' he said hoarsely. 'For everything.'

He hoped it would be enough. His eyelids were heavy, he was even more tired now, and he assumed that it was his aching body claiming its right to recover. As his eyes closed, he could feel a firm hand on his shoulder.

'That's what I'm here for, little brother. Sleep now.'

* * *

He woke up to the sound of a door slammed shut, people talking, whispering. As he opened his eyes, his gaze fell upon _her_. Tauriel. For a moment he simply stared at her profile, when she suddenly turned around. He felt caught, but she smiled and walked over to him.

'Have you slept better this time?'

He nodded and sat up carefully. He took a deep breath, and another one. No nausea, no rising bile. That had to be a good sign.

Tauriel looked worried, though.

'What is it? Have you found Bard and… what's his name again?'

'Bain. Yes, we have found Bard. He's being held captive and we couldn't find a way to free him – yet. We need to think of a diversion.' She sighed. 'We couldn't find Bain, though. Maybe he hid somewhere when the city's guards came for Bard.' She looked over to where Sigrid and Tilda were standing with the three dwarves, the younger girl clutching her sister's hand tightly as another loud growl broke the silence.

'Let me have a look at your leg, Kili.'

'It's…'

'Fine, I know.' She smiled. 'Let me make sure, okay?'

He watched as she gently removed the bandage around his thigh, and inhaled sharply when her fingers probed the wound. He was suddenly very aware of her proximity, for the first time in hours they were almost alone. He could feel his heart beat in his chest. So many things unsaid.

'Tauriel…'

'I think you're good to go,' she said, reapplying the bandage, with her hand lingering on his leg just a little bit longer than necessary. For a second it seemed to Kili that she wanted to say more, but in that moment the door burst open once again.

'Bain!'

Sigrid rushed towards her brother, but he didn't even look at her. Eyes wide open, he stood panting heavily, his face white.

'He's coming. Smaug is coming for Lake-Town.'

Tilda started to cry. Kili looked at Tauriel, then at Fili.

'Didn't someone ask for a diversion?'

* * *

_Watch the flames burn auburn on_  
_The mountain side_  
_Desolation comes upon the sky_

(Ed Sheeran, "I see fire")


	3. The hour of parting

Thank you all so much for your amazing reviews! They mean so much to me, you are awesome!

This is more or less a filler chapter before the action starts. Hopefully I'll find the time for writing this weekend, it's gonna be a busy two days.

_A/N: The title of the chapter was inspired by a quote by Kahlil Gibran: "Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation._

* * *

**3. The Hour of Parting**

For a short moment they all simply stood there, everyone obviously thinking about their own priorities.

'We fight,' said Bofur, determination reflected from his eyes. The other dwarves nodded in agreement. 'Sigrid, is there a place where you can hide? A cellar, anything?'

'There is a cellar, that's right… but you can't get there from inside the house.'

'I'll take you,' suggested Óin. '

Kili was relieved that no one insisted he'd stay, too. He wouldn't be left behind, not this time. He stood up, carefully putting weight on his right leg. He held his breath in expectation of pain, but to his relief none came. He looked up and noticed that Fili was watching him. Just the smallest sign that his brother wasn't ready for this, Fili would intervene, Kili was sure about that. He gave his older brother a reassuring smile and a thumbs up, which Fili acknowledged by rolling his eyes.

Bofur handed the other dwarves their armor which they had taken off after arriving at Bard's. Kili's fingers felt the leather, grasped the hilt of the sword and the wooden bow. It felt good.

'Here, get those clothes wet,' ordered Bofur and placed a bucket of water on the floor. 'The only protection against Smaug's fire that I can think of.'

Kili gave the ice-cold water a doubtful look. After the ride in the barrels, he really wasn't keen to run around in wet, heavy armor once more.

'I'll catch a cold if I put these on,' protested Fili as if he could read Kili's thoughts.

'Believe me laddie, a cold will be the last of your concerns once Smaug crosses your path.'

Bofur clearly wasn't in the mood for negotiating, and swearing and muttering under their breath the dwarves put on the cold cloaks.

'Fine,' said Tauriel, 'I'll go and get Bard.'

'I'm coming with you.'

'No Bain, you won't, no way. You're no warrior. You're not even grown up.'

Kili saw disappointment written all over the youth's face, and he understood him all too well. In dwarf age, Bain couldn't actually be much younger than Kili himself. Of course he wanted to prove himself. The feeling was way too familiar to Kili.

'Take care of your sisters, Bain, look after them. They'll need you.'

Tauriel's voice made clear that she wouldn't accept any further discussion on that matter, and Bain nodded reluctantly. The elf fetched her bow and dagger and headed for the door.

'Wait!' shouted Kili without thinking. He exchanged a look with his brother. 'I'm going with you.'

'No, you're…'

'I know I'm no use fighting the dragon right now, but I'm good with locks.'

'He is indeed,' laughed Fili, 'he used to give our mother a hard time when he was a kid. Always nicking food from the storage room, the cheeky sod.'

Tauriel shook her head. Her gaze met Kili's as she spoke.

'They'll notice. An elf and a dwarf, that's beyond suspicious. Unusual.'

Was she still talking about the rescue? Kili tried to read her, but her eyes were elusive. He missed the sparkle that had mesmerized him when he had first seen her up close behind the dungeon bars.

'Well, I'm quite tall for a dwarf,' he said with a suggestive wink. If pure stubbornness didn't work, he would have to go back to charm and wit. He broadened his shoulders and stood on his toes as Tauriel looked him up and down. He could see her mouth twitching, obviously trying to stifle laughter, and he relaxed.

'I noticed.'

Kili grinned broadly as he could once again see his elder brother rolling his eyes in an exaggerated way. He knew Fili didn't mean it. Kili had always been the more flirtatious one of the two, but Fili didn't exactly miss any chance to start bantering if the situation was right. Still Kili, despite being the younger one, was always a bit easier with the lasses.

'Stop the flirting and let's go,' ordered Bofur gruffly. 'Fili, you're with me. Óin, you take the children. Kili, Tauriel, get Bard and meet us as soon as you can. Take as many weapons as you can carry.'

'Normal arrows won't be of much help against Smaug,' murmured Óin. 'A black arrow, that's what we need.'

'Wait,' Bain suddenly exclaimed, 'there is one! Da showed me, before he was arrested.'

'And you only remembered that now?'

For a split second it seemed like Bofur was about to throttle the boy, but then just hugged him tightly.

'Where is it?'

'I hid in our boat, I can show you, you'll never find it, they all look the same!'

Excitement radiated from every fiber of Bain's young body, and Kili felt a strange sense of appreciation for the boy. He was brave, truly his father's son.

'Fine,' snapped Bofur, 'I'm not saying I like it, but you come with us. Now hurry, everyone!'

Óin, Sigrid and Tilda were the first to leave the house. They opened the door, and Kili gasped. The whole town was bathed in a golden, fiery light. He could hear people screaming and he thought he could already feel the heat of the dragon's breath on his face.

Tilda whimpered, her small hand clutching Sigrid's so tightly her knuckled stood out white against her tanned arms. For a moment the three stood in the doorway, then Óin pushed them forward and they were gone.

Kili grabbed Fili's arm as Bofur and Bain headed for the door. He wouldn't let his brother go without reminding him of something important.

'Be careful, brother. Don't get yourself killed, or I'll be really _very_ pissed.'

He wanted to tell him to for Heaven's sake, be careful, look after yourself, stay safe, come back to me, I need you. But Kili had always had a hard time voicing his emotions, those that really mattered.

'Same goes for you,' replied Fili quietly, his tone serious as looked into his brother's eyes. 'I know what promise you gave our mother. Just know that I promised her to make sure you can keep that.'

With that spoken, he turned around and followed the others, leaving Tauriel and Kili behind. The young dwarf took a deep breath. He was up for this.

'Let's go.'

Side by side they rushed towards the door, and almost simultaneously stopped dead in their tracks.

Kili hadn't expected that.

He couldn't see the dragon, but he could hear it. Hear the fluttering wings, the swooshing sound of the massive tail, crashing massive wooden beams as if they were twigs, the sound of fire being breathed upon the small town. The air was hot even through his armour.

And above all, a steady stream of horrified cries that crawled beneath his skin and made his heart turn cold.

He could feel someone tugging on his arm, and he stumbled forwards, trying desperately to not hear the noises of terror in his ears as he followed Tauriel to the cells.

* * *

And as the sky is falling down  
It crashed into this lonely town  
And with that shadow upon the ground  
I hear my people screaming out

(Ed Sheeran, "I see fire")


	4. Lay your armor down

After the filler chapter it's time for some action! A huge THANK YOU to all those who reviewed, followed and/or favourited this story. It means a lot to me knowing that like my writing. My way of thanking you: this is the longest chapter yet ;)

A/N 1: The chapter title was inspired by the song "Don't wait" by Dashboard Confessional.

A/N 2: I've never tried to pick a lock before, but it's quite interesting how easy it is to find instructions on the internet ;)

* * *

**4. Lay your armor down**

Tauriel was running as fast she probably could, and Kili did his best to keep up with her. He'd always been a good sprinter, like all dwarves, but no dwarf was a real match against an elf with their long legs and light build. He found it hard to breathe, there was smoke rising from several buildings and the air was so hot he almost expected the water to boil from the heat.

They passed a burning house, flames reaching high into the night, people were screaming, and Kili had to fight hard the urge to stop. What if there was someone still inside? A child, maybe? What if... but he wouldn't allow his thoughts to go any further. He needed to focus on what really mattered, and he concentrated on Tauriel's red hair in front of him as she sped down an alley.

It was there that something changed. The air began to move, like a storm coming up, only that this wasn't a storm. It was just as strong, but so much deadlier.

'_Run, run as you like, you won't get away! Greedy, self-righteous humans, with your lust for power and gold: I am the only king under that mountain!'_

Kili had goose bumps despite the burning heat. The voice sounded so familiar, although he had never heard it. A memory engraved in his flesh, belonging to him like it did to all those descending from Durin, passed on from mother to son for generations.

'_Blame Oakenshield, the power-hungry usurpator! Blame yourselves for letting him claim what isn't his to claim! Oh, that dwarf, I will tear the flesh from his bones, I will taste the iron in his blood!'_

'Kili, move!'

He hadn't even realized that he'd stopped, paralysed by the voice overhead.

'_Oh, I can smell his blood, Durin blood! But you can't be here, Oakenshield, so who is it?'_

And then the storm reached its climax, erupting from Smaug's majestic wings, as he darted down towards the alley. Flames were spit from his enormous jaws, his teeth like daggers, ready to strike. A stream of fire landed only inches away from Kili as he ran for his life. He could smell singed hair, and he was suddenly grateful for Bofur's insisting on wetted armor.

'Over there!' yelled Tauriel, pointing to a building at the end of the alleyway. It wasn't far, less than 300 yards, and the path was free.

'_You can not outrun me, blood of Oakenshield!'_

The dragon roared, his deadly breath coming down like a waterfall, and in a moment of clarity Kili realised that this time, Smaug wouldn't miss.

'Hold your breath!' he screamed, pushing Tauriel to the ground, burying her with his weight and using his hooded cloak as a shield as the fire rained down.

The world stopped for what seemed like eternity. Kili squeezed his eyes shut and held his breath. The heat was overwhelming, burning his back and legs, the leathery cloak only a weak protection against the torching flame. Pain erupted from his shoulder, and he clenched his teeth to not cry out as he knew the hot air would immediately burn his lungs.

Seconds passed like hours until the heat faded along with the noise of fluttering wings. The terrifying voice of the dragon was carried away into the illuminated sky.

'_Oakenshield blood, oh, I can smell it! Revenge! Revenge for what you stole!'_

Kili's blood ran cold.

'Fili!' he whispered tonelessly as he got to his feet.

He had to find his brother, find him before the dragon did. Fear took hold of him as he envisioned the blonde hair going up in flames, his brother's body burning, his face contorted in agony...

'Come on, Kili!'

Tauriel shook him from his state of shock, her eyes locking onto his, her chest heaving as she caught her breath. Her face was smudged with dirt and a scratch ran across her cheek. Kili blinked a few times, trying to concentrate on the task ahead. Fili would be fine. He was a skilled warrior, but he was also sensible and not as reckless as Kili himself. He wouldn't run blindly into enemy fire, he would come up with a strategy and keep to it. He would be okay.

He had to hold on that hope, but when he looked around, he thought that hope was probably the last thing to find in this hell on earth.

'Kili!'

The elf woman took him by the arm, and it was her touch that brought Kili back from his haze. Side by side they rushed towards the end of the alley, always keeping their eyes and ears open for any sign of Smaug. He was still there, in some other part of the town, and Kili forbid himself to wonder about who he might have killed so far.

He would know if Fili was hurt.

Upon arriving at the small building, Kili wasn't surprised to find the guards long gone. The stairs were deserted as he raced after Tauriel. Simultaneously they skidded to a halt at the only inhabited cell.

'Tauriel!' exclaimed Bard, his eyes wide with surprise and newly found hope.

'I told you I'd come back,' replied Tauriel, already beginning to frantically search for the keys to open the locked door.

'And Kili, thank the Gods you're alive and well,' said the bargeman. 'You had me quite worried, my lad! It's good to see you back among the living.'

'Well, I may have ruined some of your bed sheets, but if it's any consolation, dwarf blood is considered a lucky charm to some folks.'

'Really? To whom?'

'To orcs, I guess.'

Bard chuckled, but that together with the worry written all over his face turned out as a grimace rather than a smile.

'I can't find the damned keys!' Tauriel said in frustration. 'The guards must have taken them with them when they fled.'

'We might not need them,' said Kili, finding that a man-made lock was a joke compared to dwarf-welded iron bolts. 'I need a pick and a wrench, a thin metal rod, whatever's available.'

His eyes scanned the room, and within seconds he had found what he needed. His hands were shaking when he started his work, and he exhaled deeply. He knew he could do this, had done it a thousand times before.

The ground and walls shook suddenly, and a loud growl told them that Smaug was coming back. Sweat was running down his forehead as Kili tried desperately to calm down. His right leg was throbbing, and he shifted to take as much weight off it as possible. His shoulder ached from his fall down in the alley, and his vision began to swim when suddenly exhaustion threatened to overtake him.

'We're almost there,' he could hear Tauriel's voice as if filtered through a mist. She squeezed his good shoulder gently. 'You're doing great.'

It was those words and her touch that once again brought back clarity. In his own skilled way, he managed to open the lock on the door. Bard pulled him into a brief hug, but looked up in alarm as the building shook once more.

'What about my children? Are they safe?'

Kili and Tauriel exchanged a quick look, then the elf laid a hand onto Bard's arm.

'Your daughters are safe. Óin took care of them.'

'Bain?'

'He... he went with Bofur and Fili. He said he would show them the black arrow. I'm sorry, Bard, but there was no holding him back. He'll be fine,' she ended somewhat lamely, looking almost ashamed when Bard closed his eyes in a pained expression.

Another howl, much nearer this time, and Kili knew they didn't have long. In a moment of mutual agreement, the three headed for the door and up the stairs.

'To the wind lance!' screamed Bard, his voice almost inaudible through the noises of clattering wood, falling stones and people running for their lives.

All of a sudden Smaug was above them, though obviously taking no notice of the unlikely company on his vicious chase. His long, deadly tail came down like a whiplash on the houses, and the building they were passing was blast away like a doll's house.

Rubble and debris were flying through the air, and Kili once again found himself on the ground, covering his head with his hands as dust and stones were raining down.

Then there was silence.

Kili slowly got to his feet, his legs almost refusing to steady him. His fingers were bloody where they'd been hit by a rock, and he was sure that his little finger hadn't been that swollen just moments earlier. He winced as he tried to bend it, immediately regretting the movement. Maybe broken; sprained if he was lucky. Kili grimaced at the thought of how Fili would react if he was here. A broken finger wasn't exactly the kind of battle wound you'd show off with after fighting a monstrous dragon.

He bound his little finger with a piece of cloth torn from his shirt, stabilising it by attaching it to his ring finger, all the while searching for any sign of Tauriel and Bard. The dust had settled, but apart from distant cries he could hear no human noises.

Cautiously, he walked down the street, remembering only vaguely the direction of the wind lance. Then he spotted her.

She was kneeling on the ground, her back turned against him as he approached her.

'Tauriel?' he called out softly, but she didn't budge. When he reached her, he got a free view on what he'd assumed a bundle of clothes at her feet, and his stomach lurched.

The little girl was staring up at him with her blue, lifeless eyes, the look of terror still on her beautiful, soft face. Blood had run dry on the side of her face.

Tauriel's own face was rigid, her eyes vacant when Kili kneeled down beside her. He took her shaking hands in his own, trying to turn her away from the child.

'You can't do anything for her,' he mumbled, avoiding to look at the dead girl's body again. 'We need to go, Tauriel.'

But she wouldn't move.

'Please, Tauriel,' he pressed on, shaking her slightly as she had done with him earlier. 'Please, we've got to go. We need to find the others, my brother...' His voice trembled as he spoke. 'We need to kill Smaug once and for all.'

Upon hearing the name, Tauriel suddenly looked up. Fury filled her green eyes.

'Kill!' she shouted. 'Killing, that's all you can think of! All this pain, so much death, and for what cause? Why is it that the greed of our people always leads to bloodshed? Why can't we just let each other be? Why, tell me why.'

The last words came out in dry sobs, her hands curled into fists as her shoulders shivered violently.

For the first time since he had known her, Kili was lost for words. He couldn't give an answer to her desperate questions, not when she was burying her face in his chest, tremors running down her back as he rocked her back and forth like a child.

Eventually, she seemed to calm down. Releasing herself from his grip, she stood up, her eyes distant when she spoke, 'It has happened before. It will happen again. I can see it.'

There was a certainty in her voice that made Kili shiver.

Loud noises erupted from the distance. Smaug wasn't done yet, and there was just one way to stop him.

'The wind lance, we need to get there!'

The expression in Tauriel's eyes changed, and within the blink of an eye, she was the Head of the Elven Guard again, the fighter, the warrior.

The wind lance wasn't far anymore, and Kili felt adrenaline rush through his veins as they got closer. Suddenly Bard was beside them, his face covered with dirt, his hair matted with dry blood.

They were almost there when Kili recognised the figures running up towards the giant wind lance. One was carrying an arrow almost as large as the figure itself.

'Fili!' he cried, his heart flooding with relief when he saw his brother alive and apparently unhurt.

The older dwarf couldn't hear him, of course, not when Smaug was appearing again, obviously sensing what his opponents were about to do. He came down headed directly at Fili, spitting a stream of fire, which the blond dwarf dodged gracefully. Kili smiled in appreciation of his older brother's skills when all of a sudden Smaug turned around, hitting Fili forcefully with his massive tail.

The world stood still. Everything seemed to slow down, all noises evaporated. Kili didn't notice Bard passing him at high speed, didn't hear Smaug's triumphant yell.

All he could see was his brother being thrown through the air and into the dark water below.

'FILI!'

His legs acted on their own accord. He didn't think. He didn't hear someone call his name. He reached the edge of the paved path within seconds – and jumped.

* * *

_And if the night is burning_  
_I will cover my eyes_  
_For if the dark returns_  
_Then my brothers will die_

(Ed Sheeran, "I see fire")

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**Hehe, mean little cliffhanger there! **

**I thougt it was time for Tauriel to show some emotions, what do you guys think?**


	5. Holding on

I'm sorry for the cliffhanger in the previous chapter! Or not. *smirks* Thank you all for your wonderful reviews, and those who put this story on alert and/or to their favourites - my heart always skips a beat when I get yet another notification. Keep them coming! I hope you like the new chapter!

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**5. Holding on**

The water was cold when Kili fell into the black depth. Shock set in immediately and he gasped when he felt the cool water on his heated face.

'Fili!' he screamed at the top of his voice, trying to make it heard through the noises around him. 'Fili!'

But no one answered, so he took a deep breath and dived.

The water was dirty, making it almost impossible for him to see anything but his own hands. But it wasn't too deep, and as Kili dove further towards the ground, he could make out the shape of a boat and a vast amount of rubbish that must have been laying there for decades.

No sign of Fili.

Kili's lungs were burning, and he fought desperately the urge to go back to the surface. His armour was heavy, pulling him down and making him fight gravity and buoyancy at the same time. His shoulder was aching after a few strokes, and part of him knew that he wouldn't be able to stay under water much longer.

But he had to. He had to find his brother.

Frantically he looked around, searching for any sign of him, and just when the will to breathe was about to take hold of him, he spotted him. At first he only saw blonde hair floating just a few strokes away, but although he couldn't recognise the face from the distance, he knew it was his brother. And he wasn't moving, which was all Kili needed to know.

Adrenaline pumping through his veins, he reached his brother's still form, and his eyes widened in horror when he found the reason for his not resurfacing.

Fili was entangled in an old fisher net, obviously not having been able to free himself before his injury rendered him unconscious. Kili touched his shoulder and Fili's head lolled forwards, giving a clear view on the back of his head where light hair had turned red, the blood only slowly being washed away by the water. Kili felt panic rise when his older brother didn't react to the touch.

He needed to cut him lose, and fast.

It was then that Kili's battered body decided to take matters into its own hands. Blind instinct won over reason when the young dwarf breached through the surface, oxygen for a moment the only thing that mattered. Air, he needed air...

He needed Fili. And Fili needed air. Oh God, Fili.

Inhaling deeply, Kili dived once more, struggling even more this time as exhaustion grew stronger. But he reached the still figure quickly, and immediately Kili started to free his ghostly pale brother. He was grateful for the small dagger now. Usually he preferred a bow and arrow, or an axe or sword, but here the small blade was much easier to handle – and less likely to cut Fili's leg off accidentally while trying to free him from the ropes.

To Kili, the following minutes passed like hours. He hacked at the ropes, always watching Fili's unmoving form from the corner of his eye and battling his own body which seemed to grow more tired with every second. He half wished for his brother to wake up, and was half glad that he didn't, for if he did wake up, his kicking legs wouldn't exactly make things easier.

Still, Fili's not moving scared Kili to the bone.

Finally he managed to cut the last rope, and Kili grabbed his brother from behind and pushed himself to the surface.

He took several shuddering gasps, coughing and spitting up dirty water, all the while holding the unconscious body in an iron grip.

'Fili? Hey, now is not the time to sleep, you lazy idiot!'

Panicking, he felt for Fili's pulse, feeling only slightly relieved when he found it erratic, but not too weak. He had to get him out of the water. It wasn't a good sign that he hadn't reacted at all yet, he needed medical care, and above all, Kili began to realise that he wouldn't be strong enough to hold himself and his brother afloat for long. Even if he was in good shape, the weight of a dwarf in full armour would be a challenge. But Kili was only recovering, something he became painfully aware of when his right leg started to throb again.

'Fili, please, help me, wake up!'

But Fili wouldn't budge, and Kili searched for the quay. Only then he became fully aware of his surroundings, and his eyes widened upon the sight.

The city was burning. The night sky was bathed in a red light, flames soaring up from multiple buildings. In the distance, he could make out people running and screaming, and he realised that Smaug wasn't finished with the once peaceful town.

Why had nobody killed the dragon yet? Or had they missed?

He scanned the people for familiar faces, and his heart skipped a beat when he spotted red hair in the distance, only to turn cold with fear when he recognised that it wasn't Tauriel.

She had been right beside him when Fili fell. Where was she?

That's when he saw Bard. The bargeman was standing behind the wind lance, and although Kili couldn't see it, he knew with certainty that the black arrow was waiting to be fired at the dragon. Bard was aiming at the creature, but he didn't fire.

Kili was an archer himself, therefore knowing that a shot at but the perfect opportunity was a waste of arrows. If you only had one shot, you had to make it count. But still he prayed that Bard would end this whole terror soon.

Suddenly he felt movement beneath his hands. Fili was stirring, his eyeballs moving rapidly behind closed eyelids.

'That's good, Fili, wake up, we need to get you out of the water.'

'Hm... Kili?'

Fili's normally strong voice was barely audible, only a whisper through almost still lips, but to Kili it was all he needed to gather what little strength he had left. He reached for a wooden plank floating on the water. Never loosening his grip on his brother, he grasped the plank.

For the first time in hours, Kili relaxed.

'Fili, you with me? Stay awake, for Aule's sake, just stay awake. You're supposed to look after me, remember? Fili?'

When again the older one didn't reply, Kili wouldn't wait any longer. But just when he opened his mouth to call for help, a terrible, agonised scream pierced through the night and Kili looked up in alarm. Faintly, he could hear Bard's triumphant yell when the dragon fell from the sky and into the water below. Suddenly the world was upside down, waves splashing high when the dying creature fought for one last time, whipping its wings and tail in its death throes.

Kili was pushed underwater, despite his desperate attempt to hold on to the piece of wood. It was taken from him as the waves came higher, and he held on to his brother and him only, as if his life depended on it. He couldn't breathe, his lungs were screaming, and he swallowed more than one gulp of the bitter water when his mouth acted against his will in a frenzied try to inhale air.

And then, all of a sudden, the water was calm again.

Kili acted on mere instinct, trusting his senses to know the right direction when he made for the surface. He gasped for air, coughing up water as he turned around, looking out for the docks. He had to get Fili out. He was surprised he had even managed to hold on to him, and already he felt his fingers get weaker, going numb in the ice cold water. He needed help.

'Somebody help me!' he yelled, but his voice came out raspy and thin. 'Please, I need help!'

Nobody seemed to take any notice of the two dwarves, everyone being busy to save loved ones and the burning town. They were alone. He would never get them out in time, Kili thought in despair. His cloak and armour were pulling him down, and now that the threat of dragon fire was at bay he cursed his iron chainmail, the heavy boots and entirely everything that made him slowly, but steadily lose the fight against the water. His body was aching all over, yearning to give in, give up the fight, let go of the weight that was killing him; and slowly his fingers loosened their grip, he felt the leather slip through his hands, it wasn't right, he knew it, but his mind was blank, unable to control his body...

'Kili...'

The single word was almost inaudible, the voice quiet and strangely high-pitched, but it was this voice that brought Kili back. He pressed his brother tightly against his chest.

'I've got you,' he whispered. 'I've got you.'

'I know.'

He wouldn't let go. He'd rather die than give up his brother to the cold. But when his vision began to blur from exhaustion and pain, Kili realised with shocking clarity that he wouldn't make it. His body was getting numb, becoming weaker with every passing second.

As he looked up, he could see the pitch black sky above. Millions of stars were blinking palely. Memories.

_If I die tonight, will they remember?_

_Mother. Thorin. Tauriel._

The names entered his mind and he closed his eyes, seeing their faces clearly before him. He would miss them, he thought sadly.

But he wasn't alone.

'Fili?' he mumbled tonelessly. His brother didn't respond, and his blonde hair was swimming before Kili's eyes.

So this was the end.

'We'll... we'll burn together', a promise to the one he held dearest, when the world began to close in on him. Never letting go of his lifetime friend, he gave himself over to the darkness below. He thought, subconsciously, that he felt someone touch him, but then darkness came and carried him away.

* * *

_And if we should die tonight_  
_We should all die together_

(Ed Sheeran, "I see fire")

* * *

So, excuse Tauriel's absence in this one. But Kili and Fili had to get through this alone, because I like it when they save each other's cute asses LOL


	6. Worlds apart

I know I'm repeating myself but: thank you, everyone, for all those great reviews! Special thanks go out to Maigleggal for many, many written conversations which I hope will continue even when this fic in complete!

Please read the A/N at the end!

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**6. Worlds apart**

_Drowning. Darkness. He has to get back to the surface, to the light, if only he could find it; and Fili is gone, he has left him to die, no no no, not Fili, please. He has to save him, save them both, he must reach the light and get out of the darkness. He can see it, reach for it, it's so close..._

Kili woke up with a start, sweat covering his forehead as he opened his eyes. Why wasn't he cold? It took him a few moments to recognise the bed he was laying in, the white bed sheets and the rays of sunlight coming in from a nearby window. The whole room was bathed in a golden light, and when Kili's eyes followed the path of the sun, his gaze fell upon the bed next to his. His heart skipped a beat when he saw the pale face on the white pillow, blonde hair the only spot of colour he could make out.

'Fili!'

He sat up abruptly, wincing when pain radiated from his shoulder and leg at the same time. His whole body was aching, and when he remembered vaguely what he had put his already battered body through, it didn't quite surprise him, either. But he was alive and awake. This was more than could be said for Fili, and he folded back the blanket under which he was lying.

'Hey,' someone called, 'easy there, lad. You need to stay still.'

A man came to his bed, looking weary and serious.

'You must lie down and rest! When she brought you in, we thought you wouldn't make it. Heaven knows how you got away with a cracked rib, burnt arm and that leg wound, after all.'

'Leg's a whole different story,' Kili muttered under his breath. Only slowly he apprehended what the man had said. _She_.

_A hand touching his shoulder. A glimpse of fiery red hair before the darkness came._

He smiled for a brief moment, before worry overcame him again.

'But... my brother?'

He looked over to the other bed where his older brother was still not moving, and the tall man seemed to take pity on him.

'He has a severe concussion, I'm afraid. He woke up once or twice since you got here, but he's been sleeping a lot, which is good. Apart from that injury, he is fine. How he didn't drown out there is a miracle to me, but I'm just a simple doctor, what do I know of the wonders of life and death?' he ended with a rather absent-minded voice. It dawned upon Kili that the man had probably seen his fair share of death during the last hours. For the blink of an eye the image of the dead girl in the alley appeared in his mind, and he choked. How many more had fallen to the dragon's fire? His heart clenched with fear when he tried to make out the faces on the other beds. He didn't recognise them, but he was scared of what that might mean.

'My friends, have you seen them? Two dwarves... and one was with two young girls, are they okay?'

'I haven't seen any dwarves besides you and your brother, I'm sorry,' the man said, and Kili's heart sank. They couldn't be dead. Thorin would never forgive him. Hell, he would never forgive himself. He sank back onto the mattress, closing his eyes for a moment. He had to make sure they were safe. The doctor was of course cautious and sensible, but Kili thought that he was actually feeling better than he had in days. Some of that was surely due to adrenaline and medicine, he reminded himself, still a couple of burns and bruises had never killed anyone.

The doctor had moved on to another bed, and carefully Kili lifted his shirt to reassure himself that his aching ribcage wouldn't cause him any trouble during his search for the missing companions. His upper torso was bandaged, several dark bruises faintly visible through the white binding. So far, so good.

He heard footsteps and looked up when a shadow fell upon his bed. But even before he saw her, he knew who it was.

Tauriel was watching him.

'Like what you see?'

He couldn't help it. Why could he never shut up? Quickly, he dropped the hem of the shirt and looked at her sheepishly.

'I'm sorry. I ought to learn how to think before I speak.'

'I'm glad you're talking. You were unconscious when Bard and I fetched you out of the water.' She was standing next to the bed now, and the scene was strikingly familiar to Kili as he leant against the head of the bed. 'What were you thinking? Your mother's right, you are reckless! I won't always come to the rescue, you idiot!'

She exhaled, cheeks flushed from her outburst. Beneath the mocking sparkle in her eyes, he thought he could see something else. Fear. But Tauriel was never scared – angry, yes; determined, definitely. But never _scared_. For a moment silence passed between them.

'I never thanked you,' Kili suddenly remembered. 'For saving my life... how many times?'

'I've lost count,' Tauriel replied, amusement in her voice. 'What would you do without me?'

Kili was sure that she hadn't meant to say it, for her eyes became wide and the young woman actually blushed. He grinned broadly.

'Crash and burn, I guess. Honestly, though -,' he added in a more serious tone, 'thank you.'

'It's nothing.'

'It's something to me.'

He watched her as he said the words, searching for a sign that she understood what he couldn't say.

Kili didn't even know what he wanted to say. It felt like forever since he had woken up from delirious dreams, and so much had happened ever since, but still he realised that his feelings hadn't changed. It confused him, the way he thought he was looking at himself when he got lost in her eyes, or how he felt like he had known her before, met her in another time, as if fate had once set them apart and now entwined their paths again.

There was no way he could ever tell her all this.

Tauriel came closer, now standing directly beside the bed, her hand brushing against his ever so slightly, and she smiled almost shyly. She sat down on the edge of the bed and took his bruised hand in hers, carefully avoiding contact with his bandaged finger.

'It's something to me, too,' she said quietly. 'But...'

'No, don't say it. I know what you want to say. A dwarf and an elf, that's ridiculous, stupid, crazy. But that's just three of my middle names.'

He waited for her to smile at his joke, but it never came. Instead he saw sadness fill her eyes, and suddenly he felt cold.

'Tauriel... I like you. A lot.'

He saw her eyes flicker, but if she had intended to answer, she was interrupted by a weak cough.

'Didn't you once say you don't fancy elf-maids, Kili?'

'Fili!'

Everything else momentarily forgotten, Kili was out of his bed and standing beside his brother's in no time. Only at the last moment he kept himself from pulling the older one into a hug. He squeezed his shoulder instead and let his hand rest there for a moment.

'Fili, finally! I've been worried sick, you... you...'

But his ranting turned into a relieved laughter instead. His brother would be alright. Nothing else mattered. Fili grinned sheepishly.

'I'm sorry I slept through all the fun. My head hurts,' he added, creasing his brows in concentration. 'Kili, what happened?'

'Well, you decided to act all dragonslayer, and when Smaug got the best of you, it was up to me to save your sorry ass.'

'What's wrong with your finger?'

Of course he'd notice that. Even after almost dying, Fili's protection instincts came back to life immediately.

'Broken,' Kili mumbled, feeling himself turn red when the older one chuckled.

'You're such a girl, Kili!'

'Yeah, right back at you, princess!'

For a moment there was silence, then both brothers burst out laughing and didn't stop until Kili's ribs were aching. Groaning quietly, he gave the blond dwarf a threatening look.

'Don't do that ever again, you understand?'

'Do what?'

'Go on a suicide mission when I'm not there to have your back.'

Kili had intended to say it jokingly, but from the expression on Fili's face he deduced that he had failed miserably.

'Says the all-time damsel in distress,' mumbled someone behind him, and he flinched. For a moment he had completely forgotten everything over his brother, including Tauriel. Fili looked equally ashamed, but turned on his brightest smile immediately.

'Lady Tauriel, it's good to see you! I take it that my rescue wasn't all my brother's doing?'

'Well, he started okay, but then decided to drown without saying goodbye, and I wouldn't accept that.'

There was a tremor in her voice that had Kili look at her more closely. Something was different, yet what it was he couldn't quite say. She seemed to notice his staring, and looked back at him with such intensity that Kili felt like she was seeing straight into his mind.

'No, you wouldn't,' he said more to himself than to her.

Tauriel came closer and laid her hands on each brother's shoulder. And suddenly Kili knew what was different. Her eyes weren't sparkling like they used to. They had a darker shade than when he had first seen her up close, and they were shining suspiciously.

'I'm glad you two are back together,' she said with a smile. 'It was an honour to meet you.'

'What do you mean by that?' asked Kili sharply.

'You will have to join your uncle, Kili. And I have to go back to my kin. Hopefully Thandruil will forgive me for my disobedience.'

Excruciatingly slowly, she pressed her lips onto Kili's forehead. They lingered there for a brief moment, radiating warmth that Kili hadn't felt for days, and part of him wanted to jump up and shout and beg her to stay. But he remained where he was, unable to move, unable to fully grasp the meaning of her words. And then the warmth was gone, and so was the red-haired elf.

Just like that.

'Kili?'

He turned his head abruptly, only to find his brother looking at him with worry written all over his face. Fili shouldn't be worried, he thought, he's supposed to rest and get better. Get up and meet Thorin and the others and see our Kingdom rise again. But Tauriel can't just leave like that. A turmoil of emotions made his heart beat faster, and the way Fili was looking at him he knew his confusion was clearly visible on his face.

'Go after her,' Fili muttered quietly.

'But you...'

'I'm fine, Kili, really, I am. Just go. I know you'd never forgive yourself. And I definitely don't want to listen to endless self-pitying from your side once we go for Erebor,' he ended with a smirk.

Kili still hesitated. All his instincts screamed at him to not leave his brother alone like that, years and years of being a brother having left their mark on him. But there was also something else, a pit in his stomach that told him that Fili was right.

'I'll be right back,' he promised. 'Don't move!'

Then he ran for the door as fast as he could. In the doorway he collided painfully with Óin and Bofur, but he didn't stop to apologise, let alone for telling them how glad he was that they were alive. Priorities.

When he stepped outside, he could see her immediately. She was standing at the docks, a small boat tied to a pole next to her. She was really leaving, he thought with dismay.

'Tauriel!'

She turned around, her red hair shimmering in the sun, and watched as he approached her. When he reached her, he was suddenly lost for words. What had he been thinking?

'Don't go.'

Maybe the simple truth would be enough.

'I have to go.'

There was sadness in her voice, and he took her hand, almost expecting her to pull back. But she remained still.

'Don't let it end like this,' he said quietly. He knew he had to sound pathetic, begging her to stay when she had made it clear that she wouldn't, but it was all he could think of doing. 'Please, Tauriel... don't tell me you don't feel it also.'

He held his breath, and he thought he could hear her heart beat faster. He was taking a risk, he was sure of it, but Kili had been raised to know that sometimes a risk was worth taking.

Tauriel sighed, and he could see sadness in her eyes.

'I do feel it,' she replied, her voice almost a whisper. 'I felt it when I first talked to you. You know, my people believe that we all have someone, somewhere, who will make us whole. A piece of our soul is embedded in that person, and we just aren't complete without that missing piece. Kindred spirits will wander the world until they eventually find each other. When I first met you, I felt like I had known you forever. It scared me somehow,' she admitted.

Kili had listened to her in silence, his mind racing with thoughts.

_She felt it, too. Kindred spirits. Imcomplete._

Those feelings weren't unfamiliar to him. He'd just never expected to find that connection with anyone but his brother, and he'd always assumed that it was just a typical brotherly bond. But now that he thought of it, he realised that he had never seen the kind of chemistry he and Fili shared in any of the other dwarves. Bombur had left Bofur behind; just like Gloin had left Óin. Fili, though, had stayed.

And now there was Tauriel. Could one person have not one, but two soulmates? And if so, what were the odds that you would ever be truly complete?

'Come with me,' he heard himself say. 'Stay with me.'

But she shook her head, and his heart grew cold. There was a certainty in her eyes that told him everything he needed to know.

'I'm a woodland elf. I can't live in mountain halls made of stone. I wouldn't feel at home.'

'Then I'll come with you, to Mirkwood Forest.'

He knew he was pleading, knew it was in vain even before she gently stroked a strand of hair fro his face with a tear glistening in her eye.

'Don't be a fool, Kili. You belong with your brother. I saw you two. He is your missing piece, and deep down you know that, too. And you are his. One day he will be King and then he will need you even more. It's a troubled land we live in, and you can only do that together. When wars are raging, you will have to look out for each other.'

Kili felt a lump rise in his throat, and he choked hard to fight upcoming tears. He wasn't the emotional one, he would not let her see him cry.

'Kindred spirits will find each other,' she continued with her warm voice, 'in this world or another. All the stars on the firmament are different worlds, and in one of them, we will meet again. I need you to believe that.'

She was standing so close that he could smell her, her scent carrying images of trees and moss and freshly cut grass. Time stood still for him when she bent down slightly and kissed him tenderly on the lips. Kili had never been kissed like that before, it was neither passionate nor innocent and still all of that and so much more. It carried a promise that he would remember, that he would hold on to, and a dream that he would believe in.

'I'll wait for you in the starlight,' she whispered, and despite the sadness in his heart, Kili found himself smiling.

'I will meet you there.'

He held her hand when she climbed into the small boat, and didn't let go until the boat made its way towards the city's gates. He stood at the docks and watched, his eyes never leaving the red shimmer in the distance, until both boat and passenger became one with the horizon.

Only then he realised that he was still smiling.

* * *

_And I hope that you remember me_

(Ed Sheeran, "I see fire")

* * *

**A/N:**

Okay, go ahead, be mad at me. I know that some of you were hoping for a happier ending. But I can't see a happy end for these two. That's part of the tragedy, they are indeed kindred spirits that can never be together. I know, I know, Aragorn and Arwen could. But they were different. First of all, a relationship between a man and an elf was definitely more acceptable than that between an elf and a dwarf. Tauriel could never stay with the dwarves because, like she said, she would never feel truly at home. And Kili would never feel at home among the elves, either. Not to mention that he does need his brother and his brother needs him. I see the relationship between Kili and Tauriel as a perfect example of the tragic love story that we can find everywhere in literature and film, from Romeo and Juliet to Jack and Rose. Chapeau, Peter Jackson!

It was hard to find an appropriate title for this chapter, because it was inspired by quite a lot of songs. One would be "Run" by Snow Patrol: _To think I might not see your eyes makes it so hard not to cry, and as we say our long goodbyes I nearly do._ But there was also a line in "Brothers in Arms" by Dire Straits (which, by the way, was inspiration for a one-shot I will complete soon): _There's so many different worlds, so many different suns. But we have just one world and we live in different ones._ Hearing this, I first came up with "Worlds apart" as a chapter title. Then I remembered the song by Bruce Springsteen that has the same title, and it just fits: _We'll let blood build a bridge over mountains draped in stars, I'll meet you on the ridge between these worlds apart. We've got this moment now to live then it's all just dust and dark…_ and that's just the last part because I don't want to get in trouble sharing lyrics here.

Last but not least: this story is not complete, because I want to write an epilogue. It is almost finished and will be short, but it will contain some sorts of spoilers for the end of „The Hobbit". So, although I guess most of you know the ending anyway, I advise those of my readers who don't want to be spoiled to not read the final chapter ;)


	7. Epilogue: Meet you there

I told you there'd be another chapter, and when I said that I had it already planned in my head. After reading your reviews I wasn't so sure about it though, and I kept thinking it over and over, only to stick to my initial idea in the end. Just so you know why it took me so long to write such a short chapter.

So, this isn't _exactly_ a spoiler, but it contains a bit of foreshadowing so reading's at your own risk.

Please read the A/N at the end.

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**7. Epilogue: Meet you there**

The silence was overwhelming. After hours of battle, with all the noises of fight, clashing of swords, galloping horses and screams of triumph and terror, the quiet scared Kili to the bone. He was wandering over the battlefield, trying desperately to keep himself from simply collapsing and closing his eyes to the horror surrounding him. Through the years, Kili had participated in many fights, had seen death, had killed – but he had never been in a battle like this. He had thought that life had made him hard, especially the last months of the quest for Erebor. And now he was stumbling across the side of the mountain, stepping over dead bodies, and had to take deep breaths to control the urge to fall to his knees and throw up right onto the beheaded orc that laid only a few feet away from a man with an axe embedded in his chest.

So much death. And the army of orcs would return, he knew it. This was just the calm before the second storm.

From the corner of his eyes he could see Fili, lifting a lifeless figure off the ground, and it was that image that made Kili go on. He had to find her.

Kili walked slowly, as if by doing so he could slow down time itself. As long as he didn't see her, as long as he didn't _know_, she was safe. But deep down he knew she wasn't, and the longer he searched, he more his fear grew.

He had only spotted her briefly, being too preoccupied with the battle already raging on the mountain side. It hadn't even surprised him to see her, she was, after all, a soldier of Thandruil's, and of course he would have ordered his own army to Erebor.

He knew he had found her before he saw her. His blood froze all of a sudden, and slowly, so slowly he turned around.

She was lying on her back, her red hair shining like a crown illuminated by the pale light of the moon, and when he approached her and knelt down, it seemed as if she was looking at him with a smile still tugging at her lips.

Kili had thought he would cry, but his eyes remained dry when he gently laid his hand onto her. He felt cold and empty in a way he'd never known before, like all emotions had been drained from him like life itself had been drained from the woman before him. He brushed a strand of hair from her forehead and shivered involuntarily. Her skin was cold. But as he looked at her more closely, he could see a shimmer in her eyes that made him wonder if it was indeed the light of the stars the were mirrored in her iris.

'You have found the stars again, now, haven't you?' he said quietly, and tenderly laid his hand onto her eyes and closed them forever.

Almost mechanically, but nonetheless gently, he lifted her up and carried her to the edge of the battlefield. The dead were gathered here to be among the living for a last time, and he laid her down next to an elf whom he recognised to be one of the Elven Guard, thinking that she would like to come to rest beside one of her own.

He remained where he was, staring at her body, and he waited for the sadness to set in. It never came. Emptiness, yes, he could feel that, but no grief. He asked himself why he couldn't cry over her when he felt like a part of his soul had been ripped away.

'Kili?'

He hadn't heard his brother coming, and he flinched when the elder one put a hand onto his shoulder.

'I'm sorry, brother. I know you cared about her.'

He still did care.

'Kili, I know it's not the right time, but... Thorin wants to speak with us. The orcs are beginning to regroup and he needs us.' He hesitated for a moment, and Kili could feel his brother's grip tighten. '_I _need you.'

Kili nodded automatically, the meaning of it only slowly sinking in.

The battle would go on. He would have to keep on fighting, because it was all he had left to do and Fili needed him and he would never let him down and have his soul ripped to shreds.

'Take your time, Kili.'

The hand on his shoulder was gone, and he could hear footsteps fading until he was left in silence. The quiet before the second storm.

And in that moment Kili understood that there was no need for sadness, for he would see her again before the rise of the sun. He had never been so sure about anything.

He placed a soft kiss onto her cold lips before he got to his feet.

'I'll meet you in the starlight,' he whispered. 'Maybe sooner than later.'

And he turned around and marched towards battle once more. He didn't look back.

* * *

_She is far, far away from me. She walks in starlight in another world._

(Kili in "The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug")

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A/N: Again, feel free to hate me. I know some will. But if I'm honest, I can't see in end any other way, if anything, it could be still a little less cheesy than this. Tauriel isn't part of the LotR, and Legolas - who definitely had feelings for her in DOS and who I imagine to be self-confident enough to step up to his father if Thandruil didn't accept this - is kind of the lone ranger in LotR. For me, the only explanation for this is that Tauriel dies at the Battle of Five Armies. And because I don't want it to be a cheesy, fluffy, rainbows and unicorns kind of ending for her (meaning, Tauriel declaring her ever-lasting love to Kili before dying in his arms or something like that) I decided I'd like to have it end like this.

I can't believe this story is over! I really enjoyed writing it, even the sad parts. It's been a while since I last wrote a fanfic I cared about as much as I care(d) about this one. I would never have done it without all your amazing reviews, though, and I can't thank you enough for it!

I'm currently writing a Bo5A one-shot, I'm not sure when I will post it (real life is getting in the way again) so keep your eyes open (or subscribe *g*). I'm not done with my two favourite dwaves yet and I've got an idea or two about another story, but I guess that one I would write first and post when it's finished because I can already see university interfering with my writing in the near future.

Anyways, thanks for sticking to this story until the end. :)


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